A Room With A View
by JadeHeart
Summary: Tatsuha admires his idol from afar and wishes.


Title: A Room with a View

Author: JadeHeart

Warnings: implied sexual situations

Author's Note: Just a little something that came to mind.

Summary: Tatsuha admires his idol from afar and wishes.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the characters in this, they belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

A Room with a View

I stretched my arms above my head, eyes still closed although I could feel the warmth of the early morning sun on my face as my awakening was heralded by the high pitched chime issuing from my alarm clock, just loud enough to ensure it would wake me without being too jarring to my sleep, and sometimes alcohol-induced, dazed mind.

I looked towards the half-closed curtains, yawning, seeing the first rays touching the surrounding buildings around my own home and the shadows still yet to be fully chased away. There was not yet the steady hum of waking traffic. Not surprising really, it may be morning but only just and most people would still be slumbering. I could have been also really, my first true commitment for the day was not for a number of hours yet so there was no practical reason for my awaking. I was a naturally early riser, unless I was very badly hung-over. It was a curse that my body still wanted to wake up with the rising of the sun, even when my mind was unable to function at any higher capacity for another possible half day, dependent upon my drinking power of the night before. And it wasn't because I had set the clock incorrectly. It was always set for this time, for two reasons.

The main reason for the early rise was so that I could take the necessary steps to remove as quickly as possible any 'guest' that may have stayed over, which was most nights. My evenings tended to be…crowded and rarely passed alone. It didn't always lead to my apartment as the final destination, which had its drawbacks along with its positives.

The drawbacks were that if my tryst ended up elsewhere I was the one forced to drag myself out of a warm, and hopefully, comfortable bed, pull on clothes that had been worn the night before and mostly likely would smell of stale smoke and possibly alcohol, and then try and either catch a cab if I could afford one, which was rarely, or in most cases navigate the perils of public transport which could add up to a number of hours of mundane travel depending upon my morning location, all just to be able to finally have a cleansing shower. That was definitely a drawback. However, the positives were that I didn't have to worry about awkward morning-afters and could most times just slip away quietly without any fuss arising from my still sleeping partners.

The good aspect about if things did end at my place at least I knew where all the essentials were like the toilet in the middle of the night instead of falling over furniture, stubbing a toe on a door or stepping on a sleeping cat as I desperately needed to piss and seriously considering finding the nearest receptacle, like the potted plant in the corner. It also meant that I could have a shower when I wanted and get up when I wanted to. The bad side of it was extricating who ever had been my partner from the previous evening. As was this morning's case.

I glanced towards the other side of my one and only affordable extravagance, a large king size bed. In that I definitely resembled my brother, we both liked our big beds: him because he liked to sleep in and spread out, taking up the space to all four corners, me because I liked the space to be more inventive in my sexual pursuits with partners. The mattress had to be replaced fairly regularly, I liked to remain hygienic and eventually even the endless supply of mattress protectors couldn't fend off the seepage issues.

Fortunately though I forwent the standard spring base and settled for a good solid wooden frame and slat base. It reminded me more of a futon in feel which I far preferred. That sturdiness at least meant that it could withstand the….pressures that I tended to inflict upon it and it hadn't broken yet.

It wasn't exactly a four-poster bed, but the low half posts at each of the four corners came to a slightly tapered point and were elegantly turned, adding a touch of class; the only article of furniture in my whole apartment that did according to most people. Even I had to admit it really didn't go with the décor in the rest of my place, that generally being a bit of a mish-mash of items and most at the cheapest end of the scale as befitted a starving student. Interior decorating wasn't exactly a strong point of mine either, I tended to reserve my good taste for how I dressed and I was vain enough to realize that most things looked good on me. Besides I was a guy, why should I worry about whether the purple vinyl ezy-chair clashed with the scarlet red rug on the floor?

Still, I had to agree that sometimes the colour scheme was enough to make me wince, especially after a drunken binge when they really hit you in all their horridness. However to counteract this awfulness and to get away from the abstract clutter that crowded the other two rooms of unspeakable items gathered from second-hand shops, I kept the bedroom pretty sparse. The bed practically took up the entire area anyway so I was limited in what else I could do in there, but that just meant that I could make the bed the one and only focal point of the room. I liked to have deep colours for the sheets, quilts, pillows, cushions and curtains, alternating blacks, reds, deep burgundy and rich browns with gold. These hues leant a richness to the room, a sense of opulence that was all illusion but no less effective. It leant itself to an old world boudoir and the feel as you entered really gave no mistake that this was a bedroom where sleep was not the main purpose.

I didn't see that as a problem myself. If anyone else ended up in this room that was the only reason they were there – for sex. I was never at a loss for bed partners so it saw a fair amount of ….traffic, you could say. The bed certainly got a regular workout at least. The only time it was vacant, apart from myself, was when I chose to have some down time. Even I got tired eventually from constant lost hours of sleep, not to mention hip and back strain after on-going encounters one after the other. Everyone had their own physical limits and I always over did it. That was one thing that my partners couldn't complain about. I always gave of myself one hundred percent, I never shirked.

The tussled head on the pillow next to mine was blond, buried in the quilts so the face was hidden. I frowned. I thought she'd had red hair. Or was that the night before? Ah, no, that was the one in the carpark outside earlier in the night. She had been an interesting girl; really petite, well formed, red hair with freckles and a broad Irish accent. She was over here studying as well so we had lots to talk about actually, being two foreigners in a strange country. She had had a car, which I didn't, and it hadn't taken long before we were crammed inside and testing the limits of just what could be feasibly accomplished in such a small space. Fortunately the seats reclined all the way back and it was quite an old model with a column shift so I didn't have to worry about trying to dodge around a gear shift. They have a nasty habit of getting in the way and occasionally poking into places that they shouldn't. I may not object to kink but even I hadn't gone as far as that yet! It was also advantageous that she was as short as she was which enable me to maneuver her into positions that meant we could get the most pleasure. She was more than willing and very enthusiastic so I wasn't disappointed one bit.

After that little bit of activity we had returned to the bar to quench our thirst and during the course of the evening I lost sight of her but my eye was soon caught by the stunning blond that I then spent the next few hours drinking and dancing with. The one I presumed now lay next to me. Of course, I could be wrong and it was someone else completely.

A sudden thought crossed my mind and I slid a hand under the covers and over the warm body at my side, tracing the curves lightly so as not to wake them. Ah, I breathed a sigh of satisfaction as I withdrew my hand accompanied by a sleepy murmur from the sleeper. At least it was female so the odds were good that it was the blond I remembered last. Not that I would have been particularly upset if it wasn't, or that it had turned out to be of the opposite gender. It wouldn't be like it would be the first time.

I glanced at the time and slipped out of bed, walking silently from the room on bare feet and not caring about my nakedness. I made my way first to the kitchen, opening the fridge and pulling out the milk and a chilled water bottle. The milk I placed on the counter before flipping the switch to start the water boiling ready for my morning coffee. I then opened the water bottle and drank the whole thing down in deep gulps, my dehydrated body soaking up the liquid greedily. Of course that meant I really needed to take a piss now so I headed for the bathroom.

I had time to have a relaxing shower, enjoying rubbing in the lavender scented body wash and inhaling deeply, quivering a little in decadent pleasure. When I got out I rubbed myself down briskly, before wrapping the towel around my waist and returning to the kitchen. The water was just coming to the boil and as if on cue the bedroom door opened and a semi-naked female entered, running a hand through matted hair.

"Is that coffee?" she asked sleepily, yawning.

I didn't have the heart to tell her that her badly applied mascara had smeared terribly during the course of the evening so now she resembled a raccoon. That probably wouldn't endear myself to her and I didn't need any problems at this stage so I put on a broad smile and walked over, wrapping my arms around the slim waist and gazing down at her.

"Sorry, babe, but I'm going to have to be really unchivalrous and ask you to leave 'cause I've got something really important to do. Forgive me?"

I nuzzled into her neck, flicking my tongue out to sensuously run up the side of it before suckling on her ear lobe. She moaned at the caress and leant into my body, pressing up against me. Any other time I might have been tempted to respond to her unspoken request, it wasn't that I wasn't willing and it wouldn't have taken more than two moments of thought for the physical to be upstanding and ready as well, but I did have something far more important so I made certain to not give her any sign of encouragement to delay her departure.

"Do you really have to?" she murmured in my ear, hands running over my bare back.

I pulled back, releasing her and retreating by a couple of steps. I was only human after all and there was only so much control I had over my body when it was getting that kind of stimulus. I kept the smile in place as I nodded. "Yeah, sorry. You can grab a quick shower if you want before you go."

She yawned again and mussed at her hair once more, frowning now but obviously only slightly put out by my refusal to extend our dalliance and not completely pissed off. She shook her head. "No, I'll just get dressed and leave you to it." She disappeared back into the bedroom and I took that moment to put the water back on to boil up for a second time. When she next came out she was fully dressed and was reapplying her lipstick. She must have had a mirror in her purse because the smeared mascara had also been wiped away and her hair was now combed. I placed a hand in the small of her back, steering her towards the front door without making it seem that I was hurrying her out.

As I opened the door I leant down and placed a kiss first on her cheek and then full on her lips, sliding a hand into her hair and cupping her face, slipping my tongue between her freely open lips to draw her into a deep kiss that left her face prettily flushed when I lifted my head. I couldn't help feeling very satisfied with myself. I obviously hadn't lost my touch.

"So long, sweetie," she said, huskily. "Call me," and she pressed a piece of paper into my hand before waving as she walked briskly towards the lift at the end of the hall, balanced delicately on her three inch heels.

I watched her departure, for a moment enjoying the view from the rear, gazing at the sway of her hips, the way the fabric of her tight dress rippled over her pert posterior, and the long delectable length of her legs from the shapely ankles all the way up to where they disappeared under the hem of the miniskirt.

With a last appreciative look I then closed the door and returned to my long awaited coffee, glancing at the paper in my hand and not surprised to see the phone number scrawled there as I placed the steaming cup against my lips. The first sip was enough to make me close my eyes in ecstasy and the portion of my anatomy that I had been able to control up to then now freely stood to attention in response to this additional stimuli. I just grinned at that, I wasn't bothered by it at all. It wasn't like it was so dire that I had to immediately to do something about it right this minute. I would take a moment to savour this evidence of my virility.

I checked the clock on the wall and hurried over to the single window in the lounge room. I flicked the curtains back a few inches and reached to grab the binoculars that hung on a hook embedded in the wall on the side, holding them to my eyes with one hand whilst the other still clasped my coffee.

I focused on the window that I had been watching for almost a year now. My apartment was in a pretty high-class area, far more expensive than just an ordinary student would have but I had managed to hit up both my father, brother and even my sister to ensure that at least my allowance would cover the rent on this place. That might mean that other niceties, such as at times even food and drink, might have be foregone but it was all worth it. The most important thing was for me to be able to secure this apartment, here in this neighbourhood, on this street, in this location. That was all that mattered.

I waited patiently for a moment more and then was rewarded, as I always was, with the curtains being drawn fully back revealing the sight I had been waiting for – Ryuichi Sakuma. He walked through his apartment, clad only in silken pyjama bottoms, bare-chested, fingers raking through his long hair. I felt my heart beat speed up automatically, my breathing become shallower. He always affected me like this, even after all this time.

From my vantage point I could see all the way into Ryuichi's apartment, to all the rooms once he drew back his curtains. I knew every piece of furniture he owned, every ornament and the entire layout of his premises, which were much larger than my own. Every day I was here waiting for my idol to wake up, to be able to glimpse those first moments of his waking, to admire him in these sleepy relaxed periods as his day started.

I watched as he made himself some coffee, sipping at my own as he did, wandering back and seating himself comfortably on the couch to finish his liquid breakfast. Generally he would flick through a magazine or the newspaper, sometimes flicking on the TV and half watching cartoons. Once his coffee was finished he made his way to the bathroom for his shower. I was always very disappointed that I was unable to actually view this time also but whilst I waited for his reappearance I would envision what he was doing and at this stage take my own still hard situation in hand and relieve my building tension. I had this timed almost to the second now so I had finished wiping myself down with my towel when Ryuichi once more returned, looking fresh and gleaming, even through the binoculars. I would then get a wonderful view of him naked as he dressed for the day, fortunately only bothering at this stage to draw on trousers, usually jeans, but happy to remain shirtless in the warmer periods of the year which it was at present so the view really was worth it.

I knew that what I was doing could be taken the wrong way by others. Even I knew that what I was doing would be classified as stalking, certainly invading privacy. But I hadn't done anything more than look. It wasn't like I was actually taking photos or stealing his underwear or anything equally bizarre. All I was doing was watching, admiring, knowing that this was as close as I was ever going to get to my dream. No-one knew I was doing this; not my family, not my brother-in-law, no-one. This was my only guilty little secret and surreptitious pleasure.

I watched as Ryuichi continued on his morning routine, watching him get things organized, make some phone calls. I looked at the clock and knew that it would soon be time for him to leave and that meant that it would then be time for me to do the same. I sighed, feeling let down with the knowledge that he would be gone, even though I knew that he would be back and I would do exactly the same thing again tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that.

I continued to observe as Ryuichi finally slipped on his white shirt, which looked to be silk and left to hang loose as he normally did, and I thought he looked extremely sexy. He came over to the window, reaching down to pick up the jacket he had placed over the back of a chair earlier. It was almost time. Soon he would turn and walk out the door, intent on his way. Suddenly though, as he straightened up, instead of turning towards the door he looked out the window and seemed to be looking directly at me.

I froze, holding my breath, unable to move. I must be mistaken. He didn't even know I was there! No, I was just imagining it. As I remained frozen in place, unable to look away, I could see Ryuichi's face so clearly through the binoculars, seeming close enough for me to reach out and touch, to run my fingertips over the planes of those familiar features. I saw him smile then, a smile that was amused and yet seemed sensuous at the same time, a smile of promise and invitation, and my heart skipped a beat. It seemed like he was smiling at me.

He then turned and walked to the front door, disappearing out it and my last view of his departing back was cut off. I let my breath out in a whoosh, still having been holding it all this time, and could feel the sweat on my face beginning to cool in the air. I was trembling so much that I had to lean against the window frame for a moment as I tried to shake off the feeling that Ryuichi had known I was there which was completely preposterous. I shook my head at my own delusions. Of course he hadn't been looking at me.

But that had never happened before. I had never seen him look out the window like that just before leaving, it was a complete break in his normal routine which had remained unchanged from the first day that I had moved in here. And I had never seen him smile like that before. I felt myself flush once more at the memory of the curve of those sensuous lips. It was a completely unexpected pleasure to be able to witness that wonderful smile. I felt a squirm of jealousy as I couldn't help but wonder what, or who, Ryuichi might have been thinking about to make him smile like that. Nor how I wished it was me.

With a sigh I hung the binoculars up and turned from the window, making my way back to the kitchen and placing my empty mug in the sink for washing. It was time for me to finish dressing and get ready for classes, not that I really felt that enthused. The only reason I was here in New York studying theology and religious philosophies was to be near to Ryuichi. Not because I was actually interested in my studies.

I absently picked up my mobile phone and switched it on, placing it back down when suddenly it chimed, startling me. I looked and saw that a text message was waiting for me. I almost didn't bother checking it as I wasn't in the mood for idle chatter but with a small sigh I did, calling it up. I was surprised to see an unlisted number, for although I often received phone numbers I rarely gave out my own. That way I retained my privacy and distance from any who might want a more lasting commitment than I was prepared to give. So to see an unknown caller listed peaked my curiousity and it finally got the better of me. The message scrawled across the screen immediately, short and to the point.

'What are u waiting for, Tats? I'm here.'

I read it a second time, puzzled. Was this someone playing a prank? Was it some kind of crank call? I really couldn't fathom it at all. Then…..I felt the blood drain from my face and a chill run up my spine.

Stumbling back to the window, hand blindly yanking the binoculars from the hook, I swung them up to my eyes. The view spun and wobbled as I tried to still my shaking hands and focus on the vista before me and the shock went right through me. I could only stare in disbelief.

There was Ryuichi, standing in his apartment by the open window, still dressed the same as when he had left only moments before. I couldn't breathe, my lungs beginning to ache with the strain, my throat constricted so I couldn't swallow and my mouth dry. My entire body was shaking, quivering from head to toe, I couldn't stop it. It couldn't be……it couldn't be….the thought kept racing through my mind in complete denial.

His face filled my vision, a face I knew as well as my own. His eyes met mine through the magnified glass as though he knew I was there, as though he knew I was watching once more.

Then I saw him smile. That same smile I had seen earlier, the smile I had never seen before and now I knew, I knew who made Ryuichi smile like that.

It was me.


End file.
